#what role does ringo play in this

[ringosmistress]

[fernslivers]

Teahouse Jealousy

"He was honest about his desires. That is a swordsman who knows the shape of his soul."

~

Things have been building for a while. Mizu is happy to avoid the topic, in favor of focusing on her mission. Finding yourself exasperated, you accept some help from an unexpected source.

~~

A/N: ITS DONE, FINALLY. Fucking 7600 WORDS of slow-burn mutual pining, bad communication, and jealousy. But hey, I did manage to fit in some spice at the end, hey?

Anyway, this is my first actual fic on here, so lmk what you guys think? Should I stick to lists? :,)

WARNING: this is REALLY LONG. I'm very sorry.

TW: jealousy, mentions of murder, mentions of sex work, SPICE

For this outing, Mizu insists on the boy disguise, your least favorite. You greatly prefer it when you can pretend to be her wife (of course), or even possible meat for the flesh market–because then she plays it up, a hand on your lower back, her voice dropped to an extra raspy register. But that last one is rare; you know the cost that playing that role seems to take on her, and you don't encourage it, despite the tingles it sends up your spine.

And you certainly don't complain about the freedom the boy disguise gives you for movement. But it does limit your ability to speak, as well as blocking your ability to get close to her side…you would never admit the reason you don't like it, but your reproachful expression says enough. She huffs out a sigh.

“Nobody brings a maiden to a brothel. You'll make us look odd,” she tells you, in the tone of voice that brooks no argument.

You wilt further the second she mentions a brothel, zoning out Ringo’s anxious questions; it was bad enough clenching your fists and staying silent while those two women ran their hands over her in Kyoto; now she's actually seeking such a place out? Your stomach squirms. Kyoto, and every moment of that visit, are burned into your brain. You share a trepidatious look with Ringo. You vow not to leave her side for even a second.

~~

Your explicit instructions were to “just look flustered and don't say anything”. That's not hard. You avoid eye contact with the working girls, and stare down at the table while you all wait for Kaji. The atmosphere of sexuality is stifling; it mingles strangely in your stomach with your feelings for Mizu, leaving you feeling on-edge, paranoid about being caught out. You could almost believe that these women, of anyone, will be able to smell the desire on you at a single glance. You've got Mizu’s fingerprints denting the very clay of your soul.

Madam Kaji, when she appears, does nothing to set those fears at rest. Her voice may be melodic, but you can feel her eyes scrape over you like a razor, as if they could peel back your skin and see underneath. You do your best to mimic Mizu's flat stare; after this long traveling together, you usually manage rather well. You've even managed to shoo off a few bothersome pests of your own in the past. This time, though, there's a hard edge to her smile that makes you wonder how much slipped through.

~

For all Ringo says about an apprentice should stay with his master, you somehow seem to lose sight of him in the walk from the corner where you were sitting to the hallway Madam Kaji pauses in. You remain by Mizu’s side. You don't feel any scorn towards Ringo for this. Nobody could say he isn't as loyal as they come, but desire is a powerful force.

Desire. Need. It's why Ringo disappears, and why you don't. He has his own desires to attend to, and you can respect that. But there's nothing in this brothel that you desire more than what you're already standing next to.

Madam Kaji motions to a small pocket of light at the base of one of the hallway panels. There’s a pause. When Mizu doesn't move to look through the peephole, Madam Kaji motions in your direction. “Perhaps the gentleman's apprentice would like to show him that desire is nothing to shy away from?”

You freeze like a cornered deer, meeting her taunting gaze with wide eyes. Her expression says it all; there's a test in this somewhere, a challenge.

Where the hell is Ringo. Trust him to be gone when there's something he would actually want to do. Nevermind on that whole no-scorn thing! You're going to kick him next time you see him.

Your pleading glance at Mizu produces no reaction; she doesn't even look your way. She's simply glaring at Madam Kaji. Challenges have never bothered her; if she doesn't want to do something, she just doesn't. Ugh. Someone needs to do something.

You look through the hole.

…Hm.

Honestly…it's not that bad.

Strange, certainly. The men in ropes, the writing, but you find yourself privately siding with Madam Kaji; it's nothing shameful. Just more of what you had observed while waiting in the main teahouse room. They're not bothering anybody. You consider that there have been worse atrocities you've seen in your travels with Mizu, all the way back to your first meeting.

You shrug up at Mizu. It’s nothing she'll be interested in, nor that she needs to see. She just looks even more impatient at the delay, fingers tapping on her crossed arms. The expression she shoots at Kaji is her classic get on with it glare.

Smirking, Madam Kaji motions to the final peephole. By now, you've lost your hesitation. If you feel anything, you're relieved that this is the last one. This shuffling around on your knees is not only making them sore, it's embarrassing to do with two people standing silently over you, eyeing each other warily.

You peer in.

At first glance, it seems to be just a man and a woman–nothing so strange as the other ones. The man is dressed in dark blue, his hair tied up in a knot like Mizu’s. But then the girl turns to the man, pushing his yukata off his shoulders; it's not a man, but another girl, bared to the touch of the first woman. They kiss, bodies molding together with no hesitation.

You tumble back abruptly, eyes wide, feeling your face flush so fast that the skin on your neck is prickling.

“What? What?” Momentarily distracted from glaring, Mizu looks startled by your reaction. When you shake your head in silence, worried that explaining would give your secret away, she glares suspiciously at Madam Kaji. She's clearly bristling at your apparent distress, assuming you've had a trick played on you. She reaches down to haul you to your feet with a rough tug to your arm, shoving herself half in front of you. “What did you show-...him?”

Kaji’s eyes narrow a fraction at Mizu’s brief stumble on your pronouns, and she smiles, sharp as a knife. With a little click, she slides the peephole shut. “Desire. A complicated thing,” she murmurs in that teasing, seductive tone. “We are not always ready to face it when it first finds us.”

She slides open another full panel, revealing a pleasantly decorated little room. A couple of the girls are in there, already, setting up a table with ink and paper. They look up and giggle when they see you both, their eyes lingering on your flushed cheeks. You can feel them darken again under the scrutiny, and drop your eyes to the mat until the girls leave. When you hear the panel slide shut, you look up to see Madam Kaji’s eyes on you. As soon as you make eye contact, her gaze slide away, to Mizu.

She doesn't look at you again until the moment of Mizu’s proposal.

You both can see the moment that the refusal in Kaji’s eyes wavers, but something else flickers in their depths when she glances between you, and you know what's coming. She wants to talk to Mizu alone.

With Mizu's husky name your desire still bouncing around in your head, obliterating your every other thought but how much you want her, Kaji's desire to exclude you makes you want to bite the woman like a territorial dog. You take a half-step closer to Mizu as Kaji suggests that she take a walk with the gentleman “one-on-one”.

“Perhaps the gentleman’s apprentice would like to enjoy some of the pleasures of my teahouse while…he waits?” She asks sweetly, her smile warm and her eyes hard as gemstones.

Mizu looks at you expectantly, seemingly unbothered by this; she'd probably agree to making you wait on the roof if it got her the information she wanted. You shake your head instead, giving her a look of incredulity in return. Obviously no. When is she going to start trusting you to stay at her side? What do you have to do to prove yourself?

“I haven't got any money,” you reply cleverly, keeping your voice as hushed as you can to disguise it, your eyes flicking up to meet blue orbs like a challenge. You can't really refuse, given that you're playing at master-and-apprentice, but you can make it hard. She can't keep shutting you out. Not this time; now you have an excuse. What prostitute will keep you busy for no money?

A brief light of pure, gremlin devilment comes into her eyes–it doesn't happen often that her rare sense of play is roused, but from what you've seen, that never means good things for the recipient. You should have known better; Mizu never tolerates being maneuvered into allowing something she doesn't want.

She holds the money bag out to you with a little shake to jangle it, and you deflate visibly.

For a moment, there's an unspoken moment of confusion and communication both ways; at first, Mizu holds the money bag out with an almost teasing smirk, clearly indicating let’s see how you manage this one. She doesn't see any danger in it. You can always just sit in the room alone. She's only interested in making a point; this is about negating your excuse.

But when you slump with such an obvious air of rejection, the playfulness drops from her gaze, replaced with a bemused concern. She'll be back in a handful of minutes, why is it such a big deal? This isn’t your fight, you don't need to be here to begin with, much less be stuck with her every moment of the day. So… why does she feel such a pang at your hurt face? You in turn see the momentary flash of confused guilt in her eyes, before she drops the money bag in your hands.

It startles you. You didn't expect that she would care.

Madam Kaji, watching all this and not missing a single beat, says nothing. She claps sharply. Two girls pop out of what seems to be nowhere, taking your hand with an air of false promise in their eyes.

“Ooh. you’re a pretty one,” one purrs, tilting her head with carefully practiced flirtation.

“We almost never see any young and pretty boys,” the other concurs. It’s like being slowly engulfed by the coils of a very nicely perfumed snake. At Madam Kaji’s nod, you’re tugged away, looking over your shoulder at Mizu with a distinct air of betrayal. You fully expect her to turn away, but she keeps staring as the girls lead you back into the room, her expression unreadable.

Even after the door slides shut, she doesn’t move, listening to the giggling emanating from inside, her hand clenching unconsciously on the hilt of her sword. It takes a prompt from Madam Kaji to get her moving again. Face snapping into its usual scowl, she turns and stalks away, leaving Kaji to try and match Mizu’s longer stride in the confines of her kimono.

~

“So, pretty apprentice, what can we do?” Asks the one in green, her dark eyes sparkling as they flick to the money bag still clutched in your hand. “How can we serve your pleasure?”

As attached to Mizu as you are, you’ve never been flirted with by a woman before, and you can’t help the blush. But even that isn’t enough to distract you from the melancholy of being left behind like a pet yet again. Waiting in the cold for hours on the bridge to Shindo Dojo, left in town with Ringo in Mihonoseki, watching her leave with Taigen down that narrow chasm… You shake your head, mouth twisting in tandem with your guts. What if Mizu never comes back? You know the trick she played on Ringo; you giggled about it at the time, you recall guiltily. But you can’t track like he can, even if you’re faster than him. And if she leaves you alone for something like this, what is she planning for the actual attack on Fowler? Maybe you really are just a burden she can't figure out how to shake…

“Why so sad?” The one in gold asks, her sympathy syrupy-sweet. She puts a hand on your arm, but you shift away.

“I'm sorry,” You say, distractedly. You aren't watching your tone as well as you should be. “I would rather be alone. Thank you.”

Silence. They don't move to leave, nor do they try to further convince you. You look up from your despair after a moment, becoming aware of their lack of response.

They're both staring. Studying you. Then they look at each other.

Before you can parse why, the gold-clad girl suddenly lunges forward, catching you by the chin and jerking your chin up, staring at your neck. Your smooth, Adam's-apple-less throat.

“Hey!” You yelp, knocking her hand away; she lets you go readily, already smiling with a distinctly cat-got-the-cream air.

“So that's it,” she says, smugly. “I suspected as much.”

“Is it…?” The other asks fascinatedly. Your eyes dart between them, confused, forboding building in your gut.

“Definitely,” says the first. They both turn to you, looking amused and intrigued.

“Playing dress-up, girl?” Asks Green, smiling archly.

Oh….oh no.

You go cold. “I…I don't know what you…”

“Re-lax. You think you're the first to put on men’s clothing in here? Didn't you see the little show we put on for you?” Gold waves a hand dismissively, talking out over top of you.

“It happens all the time. So, what does your man want? To pretend you're a boy? A new flavor to try? Or some training for you?” Green cuts in, raking her eyes over you. “Is he selling you?”

“He’s–…not–...my man,” you stumble. How to even explain that tangle? Clearly they believe Mizu's disguise, if not yours. You're not about to spill any of those beans, more than you need to. “And I would never stay here.” You pause, suddenly hearing yourself, and bow apologetically. An aching heart is no reason to be rude. “Not that I mean to degrade your work. I'm sorry.”

Both women look at each other, then start to laugh. Clearly they've heard worse.

“Then why do you look so sad?” Asks Gold once her laughter has passed, and this time she sounds almost genuinely interested. She pets your hair, gentle, like an older sibling. “Come on, girl, you can tell us.”

You should just tell them to go. But the room is quiet, and warm, and clean, after months of shacks and forest camping and inns full of leering men. And gods… you're so tired. To unburden yourself to someone would be such a relief. You haven't ever been able to talk about these confusing feelings; the only confidant that you have is Ringo, and you do not trust him with that kind of conversational grenade.

Discretion is the whole point of this place right? There are far worse secrets that they must keep.

Green leans against your shoulder, and this time it feels less sensual, and more like a friendly touch. You're surprised by how it loosens a knot in your chest that you hadn't recognized until now. When was the last time you were hugged?

You sigh. “It’s a long story…”

~

As it turns out, it's a long enough story to require two pots of tea–and then a relocation, as the girls drag you back to the dressing room to re-tell all the juicy details to the rest of the girls.

It's…therapeutic, to bare your heart to a group of open-minded, half-drunk women. They’re clearly connoisseurs of gossip, and they make extremely good listeners; gasping in all the right parts. You can't help but enjoy it a little, finally just venting it all out, lounging with the ever-shifting number of girls as sake replaces the tea. Girls come and go from the room as they head to various clients, but except for one they call “new girl”, who keeps her face turned away from you, they all come over to listen for a while.

(As you're surrounded by girls, slowly explaining the tangled story of your time with Mizu, Mizu returns from her walk with Kaji to find the room empty of you.

She pauses, surprised by her own disappointment. She can't admit it to herself, but she had expected you to have shaken off the girls and be waiting for her. You're always there when she comes back. Something burns in the pit of her stomach to find you gone; after the heavy deal she just made, she has need of the comfort you bring her–not that she'd admit that to herself, either. The images of you, somewhere in the brothel at this moment, half-dressed and flustered, makes her stomach flip. But then she imagines you under some faceless nude woman and her throat tightens. She sits down with a thump in front of the mirror and removes her glasses, studying her own face critically. It must be nice for you to be seeing pretty women for once, instead of her…)

“But why him?” One finally asks, wrinkling her nose, as you pause for breath. She's in a pink kimono–you think the others might have called her Ise. “You're a pretty girl, even in disguise. You could do better. He's hardly a looker.”

Your head snaps up, frowning in offense. The girls giggle at your suddenly icy glare, all warning Ise to duck, and Ise dramatically throws her hands up in front of her defensively. “Alright, alright, don't get your sword in a knot. I'm just saying…”

A couple girls nod in agreement. “Those eyes…” one murmurs. The white-haired girl in the corner turns to glare at her as a few others titter.

“Like a demon,” another says with a shudder.

Your fingers clench against your thighs, brow darkening. “I think they're beautiful.” Your voice is quiet, but hard as stone; the girls all fall silent, looking at each other uncertainly. There's a world of emotion in your heavy tone; a sincerity that they know, better than most, is rare and precious.

It’s Ise that smiles, slowly, with a dark, wicked gleam in her eye. “Do you want an answer?” She asks you bluntly, making you forget your anger in confusion.

“To whether he wants you,” she clarifies with a sigh.

You hesitate. Do you? If the answer is no… gods, that will hurt. And you know in your heart that you won't stop holding out hope, even then. You'll stay. You'll keep loving her. So does it matter?

But what if the answer is yes?

Slowly, wordlessly, you nod, stomach clenching. Ise smiles wider, and reaches for your topknot. “I know a method that never fails.”

~

Mizu looks up when you slide the panel open a crack, brow plunged in a deep scowl.

“I said I didn't–...Oh.”

You duck your head, wordlessly apologizing, even though you’re not even sure why. She only looks marginally less annoyed, watching you come in and sit down against the wall. Ringo is there, too, and he greets you brightly, looking rather pleased with himself. His kimono is slightly askew.

“Where have you been?” Her tone is sharp, her eyes sharper, as she takes in the tousled hair and haphazardly tied clothing on you. The girls had agonized over exactly how much to tousle you. That had honestly taken up the most time.

You shrug a little sulkily, keeping your eyes down. Part of you wants to abandon the idea, now that you've gotten snapped at–is it worth the risk of antagonizing her?--while part of you is still upset at getting left behind again. But the thought of Mizu picturing you doing… that…is making you blush yet again. Ise had explained what they were going to imply you did, which gave you a mind full of images that you know will probably haunt you worse than they haunt their intended target. What if Ise was messing with you? This is never going to work, you're already botching it by getting flustered.

In your mind, your avoidance is a dead giveaway that you're being shady…but to Mizu, the tousled appearance and shamefaced blush give exactly the impression Ise planned, and her fingers clench again, until the knuckles crack. Her lips tighten and thin, but she says nothing further, turning back to the mirror with a faint huff. Silence descends, but there’s a strange tension to the air that even Ringo notices. He glances between you two, gaining the worried expression that always makes you want to immediately reassure him.

“So, how much of my money did you spend?” Mizu abruptly spits at you, as though she's finally thought of an excuse to be angry. There's an unusual amount of venom behind her tone, harsh enough that Ringo’s eyes widen and he sits up a bit straighter, while you shrink in on yourself a bit. Wordlessly, still avoiding eye contact, you reach into your haori and pull out of the money pouch, tossing it to her.

She can tell as soon as she catches it that you haven't spent a single coin. “...Hm,” she says again, heat immediately bleeding out of her voice as her expression lightens. She surveys your disheveled appearance again, quirking an eyebrow.

“So why are you–” she starts, before there's another knock at the door. The panel slides open a crack as Mizu heaves a loud sigh of exasperation, her eyes rolling.

But before she can reiterate yet again to leave her alone, two girls’ heads poke in, and they aren't looking in her direction. They're whispering and giggling, completely unprofessionally, nudging each other, and staring at you.

“That's him,” one points.

“No! Is it really…?” The other gasps.

Both Mizu and Ringo turn to look at you, mirrored looks of confusion on their faces. Your expression is that of a dog facing down a speeding horse cart, unable to move, wide eyed. You regret agreeing to this; you want to sink into the tatami.

Their next whispers turn all three of you into statues.

“Ise says she finished three times…”

“Didn't even charge him…”

“He never even undressed–”

Ringo’s eyes and mouth all drop wide open, looking avidly between you and the door. Mizu is… frozen. Her face has taken on that blank expression that you've learned has all the safety of a rumbling mountainside. You don't dare shift an inch, but you can't help but stare at her. Your eyes slide from her stricken face to her hands; they're slowly curling into fists. Is it… working?

More giggling from the hallway, and something thumps the panel. It sounds like there are more girls gathering in the hallway. Another head pokes in, gets pushed back, and more sounds of muffled tussling leaks into the room. It sounds like most of the girls in the teahouse are having a little too much fun with this; they're probably thrilled to get to act out a little.

“Don’t shove–”

“Let me see! I want a turn–”

“... haven't had an orgasm like that in forever–”

“I can't wait to have a good scream–”

Oh gods above. Your face is crimson. You should have expected that they would go straight to vulgarity. Ringo chuckles with surprised and impressed delight, thumping you on the shoulder with one wrist like a comrade. This is so embarrassing.

One of the girls, braver than the rest, managing to wrestle the others back, calls out, “Mr. Samurai, can we borrow your apprentice?” This produces an absolute cascade of giggles and more heads poke into the door again.

“Yeah, me next!”

“Only after me!”

“You don't need him tonight, right, Mr. Samurai?”

“We promise not to break him–”

Mizu finally moves, moving towards the door with a speed that actually makes your heart clench with fear for the prostitutes. They all fall back, a chorus of shrieks and yelps echoing in the hallway as she almost seems to abruptly materialize in front of them.

“We're busy.”

Oh.

Her voice is so frozen with fury that it's a miracle she doesn't breathe out icy smoke. It’s a tone you've only heard a handful of times, always followed by blood spattering across snow. You can feel that familiar twisting ache of mingled fear and arousal in your core that you've grown to associate with Mizu at her most deadly. But this time it's complicated by a second layer of blending; uncertainty–is she just irritated by these twittering women?--and hope, delicate, frail, slowly blossoming.

Is she…jealous?

She slams the panel closed hard enough that there's an ominous wood crunching noise.

Silence falls. You watch Mizu, warily, as she stands at the door, her fingers still white-knuckling the edge of the panel.

“Wow, what did you do?” Ringo demands. You turn to look at him, startled. You were so focused on Mizu's reactions that you almost forgot he was a second witness. “How does that even work?”

“U-uh…I…” Oh gods, what do you say? You didn't actually do anything! Your idea of arousing is Mizu standing over you after a spar, the tip of her sheathed sword digging into your throat, an icy, smug satisfaction in her eyes. What do normal women find titillating?

“Come on, you gotta tell me. I wanna get with prostitutes for free, too!” Ringo gives you puppy eyes. “How'd you do it without them finding out… you know.” He gestures at your clothing. “Was it your hands? Is that the secret?” He asks, holding up his wrists and looking at them worriedly, as though hoping that that isn't the answer. “Wait–” he squints at you. “Where did you even learn to do anything like that anyway–”

“No more questions.” Comes the snarl from the door.

You glance away from Ringo to Mizu.

She's still got her back to the room. Her shoulders are drawing up in a hard hunch, free hand clenching tight again. The rumbling from the mountain is getting louder. You're not sure whether you should be exulting that she actually seems bothered, or be worried about the upcoming danger if she pops. She's not usually the type to explode, but when she does…

You both fall silent, watching as her shoulders heave in one deep, steadying sigh, before she finally turns around. Her face is composed, back to its usual resting glare, and you feel a bit let down. Maybe she just found it all annoying. All that, for no real answers…

Ringo stays quiet long enough for Mizu to return to her seated position by the mirror, but you can see him fidgeting. Before long, he leans over closer to you. His voice is hushed, trying to be discreet. For Ringo.

“So was it a tongue thing, or–”

THUNK. Mizu’s fist strikes the lap table hard, hard enough to upset the elegant centerpiece. You both jump and turn to look at her, freezing in place.

“If you want to know so badly, go ask them yourself.” Every syllable burns, blue eyes blazing.

Ringo, undeterred as ever, leaps to his feet. “I will!” He chirps, padding quickly over to the door. There, he pauses, bowing to Mizu. “Thank you for the permission, Master.”

Mizu watches him leave, her glare never wavering. After the door shuts, she snaps her gaze back to you. Your heart beats a little faster, as ever, feeling that little tingle that comes with getting her focused attention.

“You.” She jabs a finger at you; you flinch. “You. Don't. Leave this room again tonight. And nobody but Ringo comes in. Got it?”

Oh gods, she's jealous, she has to be, she's actually–

Now probably isn't the time to be cheeky and point out that she didn't put herself on that list. You nod. You've never been so happy to be glared at before. She wants me here. With her.

“Of course,” you say. “That's fine.”

Her glare softens at your voice.

You can see the way her eyes flick to your mouth as you form the words, and your heart flutters again. It's real, it must be, oh gods above– no way that this is happening, no way– You open your mouth again, unsure what else to say, but wanting to reassure her, to tell her that here is the only place you want to be. But before you can do that, there's a knock at the door again.

Mizu’s eyes blaze. She actually growls this time, turning towards the door with the feral speed of the truly enraged.

“I said we're busy,” she snarls, whipping the door panel open hard enough that it rattles the entire wall.

You see her freeze, as a soft, delicate voice rings through the room. “May I serve you?”

A pit suddenly opens in your stomach at the absolute stillness in Mizu’s posture. Even from behind you can tell she's staring at the girl’s face. The voice is so pure, so sweetly feminine that you can picture the kind of face it must belong to; a perfect doll, sparkling eyes, symmetrical features, neat teeth behind full, petal-soft lips. No blemishes, no scars, no days of sweat and greasy hair after too long on the road. Your heart twists; finally, finally Kaji has found someone perfect enough to take even Mizu’s breath away, and your chance with her is gone.

Is this how your little trick made her feel? This pain in your chest must be karma come knocking. The second you're away from this brothel, you’re coming clean; you can always say they just wanted to prank her. But you won't leave her believing it truly happened. No more of this back-and-forth of jealousy–if it ever was that on her end.

But then maybe she won't care by then. And I would deserve that. This pain is wrong, it was wrong to bait her because you were too cowardly to be honest about your feelings. She may have given you moments of jealousy before but they were never intentional. And now–

Mizu takes a step away, turning away from the girl towards you as she walks back to her previous seat. Her expression makes you pause on your internal journey of self-pity. It isn't lovestruck, or lustful. Not a flicker of a blush; she's all business. Her eyes seek yours out, a split-second look that you know all too well. The look that comes with a new, unexpected layer of trouble.

Your eyes flick towards the girl, now revealed as she steps into the room. She's as lovely as her voice would have suggested, tiny, exquisitely made up. But it's not your accurate prediction of her perfection that makes you freeze just as Mizu had. It's that you know her, from that bridge in Kyoto. As before, your every memory of that trip is seared in.

You don't dare try to catch Mizu’s eye again; this might be a problem, but for the moment, the girl clearly doesn't realize her hand has been revealed.

Just like that, the jealousy and pining take a backseat, as they so often have on this shared journey. Once again, you and Mizu are a united front, dealing with a new threat.

And through the chaos that quickly devolves around you, clarity comes to you. You didn't need to play this charade. All this time, all the worrying about who feels what, when that look Mizu shot you a moment ago says it all. In the moment where things got serious, upset with you or not, she trusted you to understand immediately. In the moment of trouble, she looked towards you.

–

When she comes back from her mysterious task, you're waiting in the hallway, too restless to stand Ringo’s chatter and Akemi’s sniping. Akemi had heard it all, of course, in the women’s dressing room, and she wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to needle you, since she couldn't seem to needle Mizu effectively. You don't doubt she'll blurt the whole sorry tale out to Mizu at her first opportunity, and standing in the dark in the hall leaves you with little to do but fret about that.

It hasn't been as long as you would have expected, when she comes back.

You look up at the quiet footfall, and pause, heart clenching at the sight of her face in the shadowy hall. Mizu pauses, too, stopping a little distance away from you, as if afraid to get too close. She's carrying her hat under her arm, and her face looks…gods. You've seen her furious, cold, exhausted, conflicted, even amused.

This is something else, something worse than anything you've ever seen. She looks bereft, hollowed out, her eyes staring ahead as though looking at some horror no one else can see.

In that moment, you move without thought of rejection. Something in her face just calls to you, more deeply than words, drawing you together like magnets.

You push off the wall and step up to meet her.

“Mizu…?” You keep your voice as soft as you can. She doesn't raise her eyes. Instead, you can see the lids lower until they fall shut.

Slowly, you reach up to cup her face; you expect her to push your hand away, but you would have tried anyway. It’s your heart reaching out to touch hers in the only way you can, and it cannot be suppressed. In this moment, even though it's the closest you've ever been, you're not thinking about wanting her, only wanting to soothe her. Strange that your first moment of deeper intimacy should come from this clear pain, surrounded by the trappings of lust itself.

She doesn't fight you. When you bring your hands to the sides of her head, slowly pulling the glasses away, she lets you guide her face down to you, until her head is resting heavily against your shoulder. Her arms remain at her sides, hanging limp. When your hands cradle her head, her hair, she shudders violently for a second with a little choke, remembering the way she cradled another head, and then subsides.

You stand that way for a long time, in utter silence, utter stillness. The only movement is a very faint shivering that suffuses her frame. She's breathing slowly, with an exaggerated evenness as though deliberately forcing herself to do so. Your mind is racing; what on earth could have produced such a response?

Mizu… what did you do.

You already know you aren't going to ask, and make her relive it. Maybe someday, if she wants to unburden herself… but it doesn't matter now. It doesn't really matter at all; you know there's very little you wouldn't forgive her for. And you could see the regret in her eyes, that no matter what heinousness produced this, she feels no peace in the aftermath.

“It was a girl.” You can barely hear her.

“What?”

“I killed a girl tonight.”

Your heart constricts at her quiet voice. She says it tonelessly, unemotional, but you can feel her shoulders tensing under your hands. To her, this is the moment; you, seeing the monster that she is, pulling away, refusing further comfort.

“A girl?”

A faint shift of her head against your shoulder that might be a nod. A chill runs through you; she feels your shudder and braces for the shove, the exclamation of horror.

“Was it…necessary?” You ask slowly, instead, trying to understand. You've never known Mizu to kill an innocent before. There must have been a reason.

You can feel the way the question strikes her, unexpected. When was the last time anyone asked her about why she does what she does?

“...I don't know,” she says bleakly, her voice cracking.

Another long silence; the shoulders grow even more tense. She almost seems to stop breathing. You turn your face to her hair, silently, and feel her body go loose again. There's nothing you can say to fix this; only offer your steady presence.

“... Thank you.” This time the voice has a hoarse, shaky edge. You make a questioning noise, your fingers stilling. You hadn’t realized you'd been stroking her hair.

“For not…pulling away.” Her voice is growing quieter and quieter with each word; she turns her face harder into your shoulder, as though she can hide her vulnerability along with her face. “For not… thinking ill of me.”

“Never.” Your whisper is vehement, your fingers tightening against the back of her head.

“You should.”

You pause; the contrast of her gratitude and disapproval flummoxes you for a moment. You have no recourse but to be honest.

“I knew what this path would be when I chose to follow. I will not reject you for following your ember.”

You're shocked to hear a faint sniffle before she straightens, and even more shocked to feel wetness cooling on your shoulder. She hadn’t made a single sound of weeping; not a sob, not a hitch of breath. You saw no tear slide down her face.

Her expression is a different story; as stoic as ever but for those red-rimmed, haunted eyes. She’s still staring into the middle distance, unfocused. At the sight of her, your resolve snaps; you blurt it out. You can't fix this pain killing her inside now; you can only right the wrong you had done earlier.

“It didn't happen.”

“Mm…?” she looks at you, finally, but it's as if she is seeing someone else.

“The… the girls,” you stumble on your words for a moment. You want to be honest about what happened, but now doesn’t feel like the time to confess love, not when she's so wreathed in this empty sadness. You settle on, “I didn't do anything with them.”

She blinks, starts to focus a tiny bit. “Then they-…and you never…”

You shake your head.

She blinks, then blinks again. She doesn't look immediately relieved, at least not straightforwardly, but she looks strangely more alert. It's as if the weight on her shoulders was heavier, but it was a weight she was more willing to tolerate. Her brow pinches as she seems to think of something.

“I'm…sorry you had to look through those holes,” she says finally, staring down at your feet. Her voice is soft, barely above a breath. “You're… not meant to see all of this.”

“It wasn't so bad,” you reassure her. “I can handle it.”

She shakes her head impatiently.

“This isn't how you should be seeing…I'm…supposed to–…” She stops, looking confused by her own words. You stare at her in surprise. Supposed to what? Protect me? That would be a departure indeed from her constant insistence that you are here of your own free will, that she isn't responsible for you, that she isn't your protector… and so on.

You laugh a little, warmly. It's not funny, any of this, but there's a tiny bubble of something warm glowing in your chest, something that feels as though it's solidified between you, and the icy wall of uncertainty that plagues your every step has begun to trickle away.

“I can protect myself now, thanks to you,” you murmur, ducking your head a little to try to meet her gaze as she hangs her head. The next words are hard to say, but you want her to hear them. “And, truly…I don't think there's a better place in all of Japan than next to you.”

She looks up at you, eyebrows quirking up in surprise; it's the last sentiment she would expect to hear from anyone right now. The eye contact in this moment is lightning-sharp; a myriad of emotions run through her gaze, her face twitching through what looks like guilt, shame… and then a deeper, aching longing. The potency is as intense as every other emotion in her, and it arrests your very breathing.

You know. In that moment, you know; the trickle becomes a meltwater flood, soaking warmth through your ribcage. You’re pulled into the undertow of ocean eyes that glow in the cocooning darkness.

Her lips press together tightly as her eyes flick to your mouth as they did once, hours so. She looks suddenly lost; too emotionally overwhelmed by the events of the night to keep her walls up any longer. Distraction, validation, reassurance… human weaknesses she normally scoffs at. Tonight, her last rest before Fowler, before possible death, she'll let herself be human. She will seek comfort from someone that will touch her like she isn't a monster, confirm to herself that she can be capable of love, softness. That after her revenge, a happy life could be possible for her.

“I'm glad–...” her voice hitches as she leans closer to you, then sways back again, uncertainly. In the dark, her blush doesn't show, but the flustered expression is enough to make your heart suddenly race. “I'm glad that… you didn't. With them.”

You can't breathe. Your heart is in your throat; its rabbiting beat is making you shake so strongly with adrenaline that you have to force your teeth not to chatter. You've been waiting for so long, with never the slightest inkling of hope…

“...I am, too.” In the intimate darkness surrounding you, your whisper feels loud. Her gaze focuses in like a beam of burning light; your own expression says everything.

This time she steps closer again without flinching, and you feel like you might pass out. The hesitant look flickers across her again for a moment, before her brow suddenly furrows. You have a half second to recognize the familiar look of determination that precedes every risky move before there's a long fingered hand curling around your nape, and a pair of thin, sculpted lips on yours.

Oh.

It's as though every muscle in your body melts away in an instant. The second you lean into it with enthusiasm, you’re enveloped; her arms are like iron, clutching you tight. It's every bit as mind-numbing as you had fantasized; the taste of her lips is tea and copper, blood-hot as her tongue slips against yours. Mizu does nothing halfway. She kisses like she fights; overpowering, ruthless, clever and swift. Every twitch of reaction is caught and dragged free of you again and again as that famous adaptability is turned on you and achieving your pleasure. Her hands roam restlessly, mapping over the lines of your body, prompting a squeak when they suddenly squeeze tight, nails dimpling your flesh, before sliding on. You hope that every time her fingers sink in, there's a mark you'll see tomorrow, until she's littered every inch of your skin.

Your mingled breaths are loud in the silence of the hall. Your own hands are in her hair, slipping down her neck, reveling in the shift of the muscles in her shoulders; you can touch her now, you can touch her, she's kissing you, she wants you, gods above–

“Mizu…” You can't stop the soft whine, muffled by her lips; it thrills you to feel her shudder in response to it, her arms tightening around you with a hushed groan. The hand at the back of your neck grasps a hank of your hair like a handle, tugging your head to the side with accidental roughness. The pain sparks like flint against the heat building between your thighs, flaring it to a roar. Your little hiss is choked off by a gasp as she buries her face in your neck and inhales you, deep and greedy, indulging herself, before biting down hard on the soft skin below your ear.

Your grip on her shoulders tightens with a bitten-back cry, lust shooting through you like a grassfire. It runs molten between your thighs, softening your legs until your knees buckle–swift as an arrow, your world spins.

Your spine thumps into the support beam, her front molded to yours as she pins you against it; you can feel her heartbeat pattering against her bindings, the sharpness of her hipbones against your belly. Everything in your body pulses with one hard beat of desire; it thuds from your throat to your fingertips every time you hear that harsh inhale of her panting through her nose between kisses, the soft grunts of response to each slide of tongue and teeth. You don't notice your haori part until cool fingers slip along your ribcage. You flinch with a gasp, your back arching wanton and shameless into the touch. The husky chuckle at your ear makes your core throb so hard it hurts.

Your thighs tangle together without a care to your surroundings. “Ngh–” Another desperate, muffled groan vibrates against the side of your throat when you press your leg up between hers. Her hips spasm and buck, her groan fracturing into something soft and needy–“ah-...ahh”--breath puffing faster over your skin; there's a searing softness pressing against your thigh, already damp through the thick fabric of her pants. In response, the lean muscle of her own leg presses up between yours, hiking you higher against the wall until you’re spread across it, your own weight bearing you down against it with a cruel pressure to the very source of your ache. As you’re yanking her hair free with a high-pitched moan of her name–

The soft sssh-thnk of a door panel makes you both freeze.

“Master? Are you out here? I heard–...oh.”

Mizu slowly raises her head from your neck as you turn your head. Is this how you die? Of embarrassment?

Ringo’s eyes are like saucers; behind him, the faint sound of Akemi protesting spills out into the hallway as the three of you stare at each other in silence. “What? What is it? Ringo? Hey! Untie me! Let me see!”

Ringo opens his mouth, then closes it again. A wide, delighted grin slowly spreads over his face. Without another word, he slowly leans back into the room, shutting the panel behind him.

You both stare at the door for a minute. Akemi's complaints can still be heard from inside. Then you look at each other.

You giggle first, trying to stifle it, horrified at yourself as it bubbles free. “Sorry, s-sorry–” you hiss, more giggles escaping you, edged almost hysterical. It's not funny, at all, but you can't seem to stop.

Mizu watches you, perplexed at first, her mouth twitching as though she's not sure whether she should be laughing with you, or not. Finally she just sighs, too exhausted to give a damn, leaning her head on your shoulder again. This time you don't hesitate to wrap your arms around her, nuzzling into her hair as her own arms curl around you tightly.

It's not okay, nothing is okay, but, this… this is good.

Into the silence, a woman screams.

[madelynhimegami]

Ecolo Guide

Little over a week ago, somebody in a Discord server I'm in asked about how to write Ecolo. And I gave an extremely detailed answer. I actually like it enough that I kinda wanted to post it online, too. Maybe I'll do more, I don't know.

Anyway. When it comes to understanding Ecolo, these are the main things you need to know about his character:

Ecolo is extremely lonely and attention starved, having been left alone for almost all of his undefinable existence.

While he'd like you to believe it doesn't bother him, it does.

He truly cherishes Ringo's friendship, but has absolutely no idea how to express it.

Likewise, he has no idea how to handle genuine acts of kindness towards him.

This is in part due to the fact that he's extremely cynical. Ringo (and the rest of the physics club)'s friendship continually boggles him because it's such a sharp contrast to his worldview.

It's also because he's resigned to the fact that he can't have any permanence in his life. Most people forget him entirely, after all.

And even then, with all of time and space open to him, there's a lot more existence lacking positive influence on him (eg, Ringo) than with.

He doesn't tend to seek out permanence, either. He's very much driven by whims and prefers doing what he wants at all times.

He does a lot of thinking on his own, and can easily drop a poignant philosophical thought on a subject with the same ease as saying something weird.

"I've learned that being able to go everywhere is the same as not being able to go anywhere at all."

He has a soft spot for Ally and Rafisol, though the reason isn't super-clear. Might be that he left a permanent impression on their world…?

He is easily made jealous. In a Drama CD track, he nearly attacks a puppy alien and their parent(s) because he didn't want to lose it.

He's whimsical and curious and has an extremely keen grasp of many aspects of math and physics (he just lacks the vocabulary). He and Ringo are often on the same wavelength. (Read: they have similar flavors of autism)

Ringo herself considers herself to be a babysitter or older sibling towards Ecolo, to make sure he stays in line.

He genuinely does enjoy puzzles and games and will make a game out of any situation. Especially if it's to deflect from a serious topic.

By default, Ecolo has a very detached attitude towards what's going on around him. It's like he's constantly watching a movie.

When he gets invested in something, he gets petty and childish and even violent if it doesn't go his way.

This can and does compound with his jealous tendencies (again, the puppy)

For better or worse, he's honest. He's not a very good liar and doesn't seem too keen on doing so in the first place.

He's pretty good about keeping big secrets, though. Particularly ones that could negatively impact a given universe's rate of entropy

He also seems to have gotten better at acting/pretending, lately? My personal guess is Maguro told him about role-playing. (Or maybe it was a writing mistake by whoever wrote that one sketch in Quest...)

Feel free to hit me up with any followup questions you may have!! Hope this was interesting to somebody!!!

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 19

Linda looks so good in this sort of not-quite-right preppy style. I think it fits who she was as a person in this time so well, and that’s one of the things I love about Linda is that she just dresses up as herself. You know? Like she wears things that are true to her and she doesn’t care if that means a mini-skirt in January or hairy pits on stage. And that confidence and introspection and happiness is so, so attractive.

And that is why they love him. (you know, besides the fact that he’s a piano prodigy or whatever) So secure. BDE off the charts.

Linda talking photography with whoever that other photographer guy is.

George: what could it be, Paul? John: jumps to answer for Paul like it's 1964 and they're at a press conference.

What do we think? John cut himself shaving? Or is it a hickey?

It ends up that John’s meeting must’ve fallen through at 1:30, so Paul is the only one gone. And it seems to me that John purposely plans this time when Paul’s gone to talk to George and Ringo about Klein. George: er, what did you want to talk about? John: er, well, just that I saw Klein, you know. . . . but I want to tell you all at once, you know, so it’s not . . . Sure, John. Cut to 1971 John talking about “doing a job” and “maneuvering” to get those two on the Klein boat. smh. sad. 

But, really, for a guy who admits to having been a manipulator since primary school, he’s so easily manipulated. John. A man who you just met cannot know you as well as a man you’ve known since you were seventeen. No matter how he flattered you, it’s just not possible. The way he said it with such conviction, too! He sincerely believes this bullshit.  

“Old Brown Shoe” is not my favorite lol but I’m so happy for George. To me, it sounds like it’s about leaving old roles, old patterns, old relationships, the beatles, behind in favor of something more exciting and fun. Good for him. 

I know this is a “yeah, duh” comment, but Billy is such a gifted musician. Instantly catching on to the stylophone, jumping on guitar the minute George is on piano. So impressive.

Ugh, the tone of voice John takes with George. They’re all messing around, as they constantly do, including George, when John decides it’s time to focus. He says, “George, come on,” in literally the most condescending voice. As if George has been the only one derailing everything out of his own immaturity and John’s finally losing his patience. I can’t. He’s not fourteen, anymore, John. 

One more quick Linda appreciation because she's so cool and so pretty and I love her so much.

I wonder if they actually did have a “tune up” as George Martin put it, after teasing him that they wouldn’t. It just cuts off from John being like “remember Bob Wooler” to them doing a take of “Don’t Let Me Down.”  

John singing “I need you” at Paul (who is very passionately shaking that maraca). Not I want you. I need you. And making These Faces as he plays the guitar. Like, to be clear, those are not singing faces. He's not singing while he's doing that. He's just doing that. He looks so horny and in so much pain. Bro. How do you do that with God and everyone watching? 

At which point, Paul decides he needs to get completely out-of-it stoned, and the most unwatchable one minute and seven seconds in all of Get Back occurs. “Grease Paint” my beloathed.

Oh, okay, George just constantly cleans his guitars. I think I remember reading an old beatlemania era article that said while John and Paul treat their guitars as tools, George loves and cares for his. 

And then we pan out as John says, “Allen Klein’s here,” and sings, “I want you so bad” in the same breath. What are our thoughts? Does John sincerely think he’s helping everyone by getting Klein? Or is it more selfish?  

[wingsoverlagos]

Lewisohn vs. Shepherd

I'm still at work on the whole Kim Bennett thing, but here's a quick Lewisohn vs. post to spice things up. Actually, the book from which I was cross-referencing was due at the library, so I started work on this, quickly realized the source was also readily availble online, but decided to finish it anyway.

The source at hand is Jean Shepherd’s October 28th, 1964 interview with the Beatles, published in the February 1965 issue of Playboy. You can find a transcribed version here or a scanned copy here. It’s a great, quick read - seven pages sparkling with Beatles wit and a concerted effort by George to convince the interviewer he's in love with Ringo. Small tw for transphobia in the form of a tired pronoun joke at the expense of April Ashley.

Tune In pulls three quotes from Shepherd's interview. Two of them are below the cut - their are minor changes (one exceedingly minor) to those quotes, but the first quote I'll address is taken wildly out of context. It's not the most offensive distortion of history that Lewisohn has put forward, but its maddeningly blatant - and pointless.

Tune In 26-20 vs. Shepherd 1965, p.54

The quote of interest is highlighted in green, but I included the preceding paragraph because the context matters greatly here. The Beatles & Brian were down in the dumps, having struck out with every record company with any semblance of artistic merit. Lewisohn highlights that John and Paul in particular were down in the dumps, but that “their young friend George stayed optimistic. He rallied them, he showed them that while they might be thinking the worst, he was remaining hopeful.” His evidence for this is the quote highlighted in green, in which John says Brian and George knew they would make it big.

Well. Let’s check the source.

If you look at the quote, once again in green, it’s almost correct—Lewisohn drops “our manager”, but it’s close by Tune In’s standards. Take a look at what’s around the quote, and you’ll see it’s taken wildly out of context. John isn’t talking about George’s confidence in the Beatles ability to score a record contract in 1962; he is unambiguously referring to George’s confidence that the Beatles will succeed in America in 1964. And that confidence didn’t stem from “the Beatles’ mantra” that “Something’ll turn up”—George thought they’d be successful in the states because he was aware of their U.S. record sales.

The thing that gets me here is that it’s so unnecessary. As a historian writing for a general audience, the Beatles must be a dream: you have a core group of four complex, interesting, musically gifted people whose personal and artistic growth played out in the public eye, exhaustively documented. They were surrounded by a supporting cast of vibrant characters to root for or revile, who all played a role in a story brimming with friendship, romance, rivalry, wit, and tragedy. There's no reason to rewrite history for the Beatles - their story can be both factually correct and narratively compelling, yet Lewisohn joins a storied list of authors who have felt the need to gild the lily.

What does this add to the Beatles story? How does it benefit the narrative to portray George Harrison as a plucky kid from an afterschool special, cheering on his elders with unflagging optimism when things look bleak? It’s trite, and it’s fake. It's not the Beatles.

This isn’t the most earth-shattering act of historical revisionism Lewisohn has committed to print, but its brazenness is galling. In the introduction to Tune In, Lewisohn states, “I’ve wanted a history of deep-level inquiry where the information is tested accurate, and free of airbrushing, embellishment and guesswork, written with an open mind and even hands, one that unfolds lives and events in context and without hindsight, the way they occurred…” And yet we get this. He knowingly took this quote two years and a whole Atlantic Ocean out of context, and he had the audacity to tout his book as “tested accurate, and free of airbrushing, embellishment and guesswork.”

He's pissing on our feet and telling us it's raining, folks.

Tune In 29-4 vs. Shepherd 1965, p.56

An impressive number of little deletions and changes for such a small quote.

Tune In 33-1 vs. Shepherd 1965, p.54

This one almost isn’t worth mentioning. The only change is the emphasis removed from Ringo’s “them” in the original quote.

Sources:

Lewisohn M. 2013. The Beatles: All These Years Vol. 1: Tune In. New York (NY): Crown Archetype. [ebook]

Shepherd J. 1965 Feb. Playboy Interview: The Beatles. Playboy 12:51-60. Accessed online 2024 Mar. Available from: https://imgur.com/a/HY2Ji

[thecoleopterawithana]

Hello!

I'm looking for a section of the lunchroom tape (from the Get Back sessions) where John says something to Paul along the lines of "I mean, you've only recently realised what you were doing to me". Does that ring any bells?

You seem to know your way around amoralto's archives, and I'm not having any luck searching there :)

Thanks!

Hi, @i-am-the-oyster (love the name, by the way)!

I think you might be referring to this section of the Lunchroom Tape:

JOHN: And it’s just that, you know. It’s only this year that you’ve suddenly realised, like who I am, or who he is, or anything like that.

I find this bit of the conversation particularly impenetrable; and all the more fascinating because of it. It's here that we have this famed exchange (whose full meaning still eludes me):

JOHN: Because you – ’cause you’ve suddenly got it all, you see. PAUL: Mm. JOHN: I know that, because of the way I am, like when we were in Mendips, like I said, “Do you like me?” or whatever it is. I’ve always – uh, played that one. PAUL: [laughs nervously] Yes. JOHN: So. PAUL: Uh, I’d been watching, I’d been watching. I’d been watching the picture. YOKO: Go back to George. What are we going to do about George?

I encourage folks to go listen to the full audio and transcript and try their hand at decoding it!

I don't know if it's accessible on the mobile app, but @amoralto has a separate page with links to all the Get Back excerpts, listed in chronological order. It's a pretty neat resource if you want to just binge through interesting little snippets from these sessions (some that made it onto the documentary, and many that didn't).

To those curious about the Lunchroom Tape in particular, here's a (play)list of all the transcribed excerpts, with @amoralto's descriptions for context:

We Have Egos

Over lunch, the remaining Beatles touch on George’s resignation from the band on the 10th, as well as a group meeting held the previous day which ended in less than desirable circumstances (with George leaving the room, frustrated by John’s persistently Yoko-filtered standard of communication). While Yoko contends that it would be easy for John (and Paul) to regain George’s favour, John points out that this is a more deeply-rooted issue than it may seem, compounded over the years by John and Paul’s treatment of George and his defaulted status within the group. Upon this problem of overriding egos, however, Paul suggests (passive-aggressively) that it isn’t just the Lennon-and-McCartney tandem that is causing George upset and consternation. 

Jealousy For You

As the problem of George’s current resignation from the band is discussed, John makes it about him and Paul wonders what it’s all worth.

The Way We All Feel Guilty About Our Relationship To Each Other

John contends with how the force of his partnership with Paul and his relationship with Yoko has negatively affected George and perhaps directly contributed to George’s walkout on the group three days prior.

Cabbage

During a discussion on how the rest of the group should move forward after George’s departure on the 10th, John wonders if they should get George back at all, suggesting his role as a Beatle is replaceable (unlike his own or Paul’s), and likens this unkindly to how Ringo first replaced Pete Best. Paul notes that John has been the top buck in getting himself heard (and getting his way) since the inception of the group (which John protests) and quickly reassures Ringo when he wryly declares himself to be little more than rabbit food for the group. Paul admits that both he and John have done one over on George, albeit unconsciously as an effect of the competition and unaware of how it may have hurt George in the process, but John argues that he’s known since early childhood how manipulative he himself can be, and has tried to curb it to little avail.

What You Are

In the middle of a personal discussion with John and Ringo about the band, its tenuous future, and their relationships with one another, Paul (in response to John’s admission of insecurity in the face of external pressures from the public and media to perform) is emphatic about his faith in them and their abilities and contends that whatever interpersonal problems they have can be resolved, for what their music is worth.

Working At A Relationship

While Yoko and Paul conduct their own conversation with each other, Linda talks to John about the inevitable difficulties any relationship faces - even in the context of a musical partnership - and why it doesn’t prove the relationship itself is an expired one. John (inexplicably or not) laments that the White Album doesn’t sound like the genuine, inspired band collaboration they achieved in the past. 

You've Got To Blame Yourself

As Paul encourages an unconfident Ringo to go ahead with his plans to record a solo LP, John hedgingly brings up his own apprehensions about following his instincts (especially when he’s not even sure what he really wants to do). In their inimitable and emotionally non-committal fashion, John and Paul engage in metaphors about intentions, conveying these intentions in actions, and how these actions may be conveyed by those who see it. (Basically: what John and Paul talk about when they talk about love.)

How Much More Have I Done Towards Helping You Write?

John and Paul have an obfuscating conversation about their songwriting partnership and creative process, which has been incapacitated by a lack of direction, misplaced (misread) intentions, and the unmet (unrealised) expectations they’ve inflicted upon each other. (In other words: issues. And some projecting of issues onto George, for good measure.)

What We're All About

In the midst of a personal discussion about working together within the band, John tries to explain the disconnect in their process, and why he can’t envision their songs the way Paul can. As both John and Paul circle around the issues of honest communication and (living up to) each other’s expectations, they eventually project onto George bring George into the quandary of the Lennon-McCartney partnership. 

[wordsformizu]

Your Father's Daughter

Mizu x Reader story

Word count: 1.9k

Chapter 8

To be beaten at your own talent, and binded down was embarrassment on its own. To be dragged around like a leashed dog added a new level of shame you were not expected to face. You would have rather he beat you until you were unconscious in that small hideout. You would have rather he killed you. Anything was better than being dragged around by the man who bested you.

He had atleast given you the honor of veiling your face. Your cloak that you used to follow him around, he was oh so kind to keep that for you and now placed it on you as you traveled from street to street. That was the most kindness he could offer, as he tugged at your now hidden binds with force when you refused to move. In this moment, he had won but you wouldn't make it easy. You were no obedient dog. 

“And if you run,” he had said, tightening your bonds. It brought a wince out from you, and you quickly silenced yourself. He didnt need to finish his sentence. You understood the threat in his silence. You wouldn't give him any trouble for now. You had thought about creating a distraction. Playing the role of a victim to hopefully pull attention from a stranger with a kind heart. You could play a good character, but you weren't sure how well of an actor he was. Could he be a better liar than you? Is it worth finding out, and losing once again? Waiting was your best option. He had already proven that he can outfight, and out wait, and in these ropes he could probably outrun you. So now you were left to plotting. Lying low, and staying quiet. Hoping some event catches him off his guideless path, opening a window of opportunity for you. 

If you could find a way to throw something in his journey without lifting a hand, you would be given a chance to escape. When this chance was given to you, you swore not to let it slip. It just needed to cross the paths of your mind, and as he trailed you along silently, you looked for it in your compliant silence.

They had found a horse from a stable man. Paid off with a few coins, the man was very grateful and didn't bother to pay any attention to you. Ringo, the apprentice introduced himself to you unwillingly, had negotiated the deal while his master, who hadn't bothered, supplied the payment.

 Their dynamic was beginning to make sense to you, but you still found it odd. The demon samurai didnt have the most approachable face, and he hid it often under his hat and glasses. When he wasn't hiding behind his attire, you could find a deep scowl etched into his face like stone art. It created creases between his eyebrows, and made him unapproachable to others. “Someone not to be messed with” was what his face read. The aura around him pushed others in the opposite direction. On the other hand, his apprentice was quite the opposite. Like a young dog who has yet to learn the world is dangerous. A kind heart and even kinder face. Shiny, like the face of a baby. Welcoming, like the entrance of a restaurant. A heart like his does not survive very often past childhood ; the sweetness drained and used to feed the greedy and selfish of the world. Even after you attacked him that night a few days ago, he was still sure to be kind to you, offering you food and smiling warmly. He was too sweet. Too patient. You weren't used to someone like Ringo. You decided because of that you wouldn't like Ringo.

“Master said you could ride on the horse for our travel.” Ringo beamed his smile at you. You squinted. 

“I don’t need to.” Your response came out colder than the snow around you. Ride the horse so he could parade you around town to show that he captured you? Wasnt this enough?

“Oh no no, he’s a good horse! He is very sweet and wont buck-” The apprentice tried to convince you, the tone of pleading slipping into his words. He needed you on this horse, but you wouldn't comply. The samurai was his master. Not yours. You didn't have to listen to any of his senseless commands. 

“I said no.” You spoke firmly, pushing a forceful tone into the last word. The apprentice flinched like you struck him.

“I wasn't asking.” and hands wrapped around you faster than you could turn to fight him off. Struggling was useless as the samurai plopped you onto the back of the horse like purchased merchandise, and latched you tightly so you wouldn't fall off while he rode. Pride ignited a flame within your ribcage, threatening to spill from your mouth and melt the world around you. You bit your lips so the horse wouldn't go into flame. 

From there the three of you continued his travels. He never let you sit up on the saddle whenever he placed you back onto the horse from your breaks. Never close enough to him. Always bent over the horse's ass with your feet dangling uncomfortably. Ringo followed close behind, of course, speaking into the air. He asked you questions and you let the noise of the wind on the trees answer for you. He never seemed to mind. He must have been used to this as his master was also as quiet. 

“Master practically saved my life that day.” he was on a tangent about how the demon had walked into his life as they were coming to another stop for a break. 

“Watch her.” The samurai muttered loud enough to be heard before leaving his horse to the apprentice. He slipped away into the trees, leaving you to the noise of Ringo alone.

“If it wasnt for him fighting off that man with the gun, I’d still be working with my Father. I’d be quite miserable.” and he chuckled lightheartedly after that sentence before sliding off his horse to approach you. He unwrapped the woolen cloth and held it in front of you for you to peer inside. 

“I tried to find something different in our last stop. I hope you like these better.” Inside was sweet goods, small treats you could find being sold on the side for cheap prices. The memory of small children sneaking these snacks away from booths and running as fast as they could before they were caught and beaten for their thievery flashed behind your eyes. One of the many smells of childhood, a past you tried to avoid. You turned your head away from the bag, and closed your eyes. 

“Oh..maybe you don’t have a sweet tooth..” Sadness dripped from his tone as he tucked the bag away. 

“I know sweets used to make me feel better. They still do!” he went on, a perk in his voice now. 

“My father didn't let me have sweets at all. He always yelled ‘Why do you need sweets? As big as you are? Have you earned them? Get back to work, stupid boy!’ and then he’d hit me, right over the head with whatever was in his hand. I was lucky if it was a towel!” he chuckled. 

“But I remember the time I had my first sweet! I was returning from errands, and a woman was at a stand selling mouth watering sweets. Dango,Wagashi, you name it!  I had never seen her before, but I had seen those treats before. I guess my eyes were popping out of my head, because she called me over very quietly so I came over to her with everything in my hands, so my father’s ingredients wouldn't get stolen..again..and she hid behind her booth and offered me Dango! She said it could be a little secret between her and I!” He spoke of these memories like it was happening in this moment, he spoke in a way where you could see it as well. The way his voice lit up pulled you in and you could see a smaller Ringo, chubby with the roundest cheeks and reddest nose. You were forced to listen, but now you couldn't help but to. 

“It was so sweet, and soft and I remember chewing it over and over to really savor it. I walked home as slow as I could so I could enjoy it longer, and so my father wouldn't catch me. I got beaten that night, but I don't regret it! It was worth it, I believe.” You could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Sweetness comes into your life unexpectedly. Whether you're looking for it or not. No matter how bad it gets. I like that about living. I think about those moments often, and I can't wait for the next ones.” and with that he turned away to tend to his Masters horse, humming a soothing tune. 

You thought for a few moments about what he said. A little peek into his past, and what it meant to be Ringo. A sigh left your lips as you finally spoke to him.

“I would..like one.” 

“Really!” He perked up, overly pleased to hear your request. Or maybe he was pleased to hear another voice that wasn't his own. He scuttled over to your dangling head again, looping the string on his nubs. You thought to yourself how difficult it was to feed someone else with no hands, but he made it look easy with his excitement and willingness. It was a Wagashi in the shape of a flower. You hadn't had the chance to taste one of these since you could never afford sweets as a child, and your father didn't have a sweet tooth. You understood why it was so favored. Its sweetness made your mouth water, and the chewiness was fun. Childish, but fun. 

Opening your eyes slowly, you realized Ringo was watching you the whole time, taking in your experience and smiling brightly. “Oh hold on!” he broke away and quickly retrieved a cup for some water and offered you that as well which your parched throat and dry lips greatly appreciated. A ‘Thank you’ felt unnatural coming from your mouth, so you didn't bother. Instead  you just glanced around as he smiled at you. 

“This is close to where my father would take me as a child for sweet treats like this..” You spoke as calmly as you could, clearing your throat. 

“Really?” He asked, genuine excitement in his voice. 

“Yes, he would take me out to the town nearest to his home after my training and reward me with whatever I liked..” 

“What was your favorite treat?” Ringo asked, listening intently. He was a good listener. You needed that. 

You cleared your throat, notioning for more water and he obliged, hoping to hear more stories about the sweets you had. Hoping to bond and build a connection with you. 

“Yes..these tree’s do look familiar. There should be a path close by,” You spoke, lifting your head and looking side to side to further examine your surroundings. 

“To the left of a grande tree near a river…That should lead us into the town closest..I wonder if it’s still open. It would be a nice place to revisit.” 

“I’ll ask Master! I’m sure he’s looking for a spot for us to rest for the night. I’ll let him know! Thank you for the suggestion! ” Ringo said, standing up in a rush to fix up the horses. He paused, kneeling back down before you and smiled his radiant smile again. 

“See. Sweetness does come unexpectedly.” 

[shinygoku]

A Hard Day's Night [Film] (1964)

So here we are at last, talking about the first of a debatable amount of Beatles Movies! This one has the reputation of being the best, but is that based on an objective measurement or is it as it's the least Odd and the least Colourful? Either way, let's have a closer look~

Twaaaaaaaang--!

Our tale begins ...black and white-ly. This was the style at the time, to do a throwback to the slightly older moving pictures and to contrast that association with the antics of four young men. It also made the film a bit less expensive to make, but while some people dig the aesthetic I'd prefer it to be in full colour, myself. I can watch and enjoy monochrome films and TV, but here I feel like I should be able to behold the scenery and the lads as the world at the time saw them. I don't know what colour the seats on the train were! I didn't get to see them in the 60s! It's a minor and mostly subjective complaint but it is one of those things on my mind as I watch.

While it's a somewhat fictionalised Day in the Life, there's also a surreal bend to the whole movie. The Boys appearing outside the moving Train and fooling around in the narrow corridors, John in the bathtub, the carjacker, and some of the background details offer a curious glimpse into the future overt zaniness. But it's also extremely grounded and arguably uncreative in scenes where they recite lines previously said off the cuff in their interviews (e.g. the "How did you find America?" question and response). There's a happy medium in there with slight exaggerations of real situations they faced [Ringo getting the most fanmail in one scene comes to mind] and also an unfortunate setting of future Typecastings on the boys that they'd soon tire of.

BUG ACTING

In this flick, the Beatles are playing versions of themselves. John and George adapt quite naturally, easily incorporating their lines and relaxing into their roles, possibly throwing improv in while they're at it (I feel like I've heard John in the bath was an unscripted John Moment).

Paul doesn't do as well, and I think the case is that he's the most into plays, while also being bad at Acting As Himself. He thrives when he's doing a little Bit but he can't sustain a scene as "Paul", which is most likely why his solo part with a pretty girl was cut (that, and the film getting a bit too long with it.) when all the others get a bit of individual focus.

Ringo, after a fumbled first line improves in leaps and bounds, and is effectively the Main Character, another trend that would persist in later films, and he does a lot of his acting just with body language. He feels like a silent movie star(r) for quite a long portion of the film and his performance wrings some genuine emotion forth.

The 5th main character is Paul's Grandfather (whose name is, I kid you not, John McCartney. I will instead call him Grandfather to prevent confusion...), who is a living apple of discord. He's very clean, though. Played by Wilfrid Brambell of Steptoe & Son fame, he's the Mixer who pushes people's buttons for his amusement and to make some quick cash. He's right about ACAB though, he phrases the last part as Villains but it's the same sentiment lol.

This film also shuffles the Beatles Supporting Characters to have substitutions of the real life equivalents, and naturally there's many bit parts like the people in the TV Studio, the field owner and the police. As for the hoards upon hoards of fangirls, I think only a handful were hired extras (including Pattie Boyd, where she and George made their Connection), with most of them just being in the right place at the right time and behaving like foxes in a henhouse.

PLOT

So the key story being told is that The Beatles travel down to London to film a TV Special, with the addition of Paul's Grandfather. Even without him it seems tensions are already a bit elevated, as their Manager is constantly reminding the Boys to be well behaved (something that John seems to delight in subverting), other members of the public like the Man On The Train and in the TV Studio are rude, and the inescapable sea of excited young fans meaning the life that the Beatles are currently living in is one of a series of shuffled boxes.

To get his jollies, Grandfather subtly sows seeds of discord between people, like the Manager and the Roadie, and then pivots to singling out Ringo from the other Bugs. Eventually this works, but the reconciliation in the third act ensures the Beatles make it for their final performance before they're whisked away to their next booking with nary a moment to breathe.

SCRIPT & SUCH

My favourite little exchange may be an ADR'd sequence where the Bugs are roasting the Victor Spenetti character and his hideous wooly jumper. You'll hafta trust me on this and see it happen in the film, transcribing it doesn't do justice!

Another cracking line is "Being middle-aged and old takes up most of your time, doesn't it?" And in general this movie is stuffed to the gills with witty lines ...possibly too many? It doesn't fall into the MCU insincerity trap with its one liners, it's taken me multiple watches to really Hear most of them. I guess it's not a good movie for the duller minds as by the time I'd processed a witty quip, I'd missed another handful XD;; By now I can keep up but still, it requires watching with subs and/or a bit of effort!

That being said, it's still amazing how influential even this single branch of the Beatle Tree is. The opening to the first Austin Powers movie duplicates the sequence here, the pioneering camerawork for the whole song sequences, and indeed the basic concept of having a Musical Movie also show much of the hum-drum and mundane moments instead of being "Singer Goes To Place, Picks Up Girls And Sings" lol - It's quietly cynical without losing its Fun factor.

MUSIC

There's an odd use of the songs -- they're almost all from A Hard Day's Night, naturally, other than a snippet of I Want To Be Your Man and She Loves You as the finale. They get uneven airplay. The album itself is a swinging of the quality pendulum, but the title track and Can't Buy Me Love [both very good] get played in full twice, we get If I Fell and then almost all of that again, we have to endure I Should Have Known Better twice too, but some of the others feel like mere cameos. I do appreciate the use of instrumental versions for some incidental music though~

While not my favourite of the songs, my favourite Sequence set to music is Can't Buy Me Love, the one where they're gaily running about on a field and guys being dudes dancing with each other. It's utterly charming and conveys freedom and fresh air, something in short supply of in the narrative.

FINAL THOUGHTS

While I see the appeal in the film, and can understand why it's generally considered the best of their moving pictures. However, as much as I respect it and enjoy the serotonin it offers, it's not my favourite nor do I think it's their best. But it's endearing and has surprising edge relatively speaking, given that it does show a few of the downsides to the kind of wild fame the Bugs were living in.

It may sound harsh but I'd rate it at 2/3, but a very high 2! If they'd given us a proper look at the Steam Locomotive that pulls the Act 1 Train, it coulda hit the high score... but more Trains and indeed Beatles Movies are to come! 🚂

🪲🪲🪲🪲

Somehow echoing my May review of last year, our next stop will be to get HELP! ...watched and written up like this ;3

[cafeleningrad]

With the caveat how homosexuality is partly also metaphorically used as "purely love for love's sake" in his filmography, I think Ikuhara's work is beautifully mature in understanding romance. Even more so queer romance.

Through out his work, Ikuhara demonstrates how oppressive system shape and dimish even the most intimate sphere of self. ("Sarazanmai" is perhaps the most demonstrative of that theme.)

So even if characters are queer, are not in relationship with another person to satify a social norm, they still have to unlearn so many harmful ideas before they can actually, truly love: Learning to grant another person their autonomy, not seeing another person as an object to fullfill one's own's desire, taking responsibility for oneself, daring to be brave enough for vulnerability, and seeing beauty in the reality not in artificial splendour.

That's why Juri's and Shiori's relationship fail. Juri is in love wirh being tragically in love, and deathly afraid that she might get hurt, so she misses out on all of Shiori's attempts tomget closer to Juri. The only way left for Shiori is to constantly taunt Juri. Because they also aren't goven a framework what actual love looks like except of satisfyng one's personal need first, they're entrapped in a "pursuer" and "pursued" cycle of mutual hurt.

Mikage might see a possible future with his beloved Mamiya. But even though he's in love wirh another boy, he can only understand it in the usual social mold of "prince" and "princess. In that position, even the fake Mamiya is an excuse for Mikage's heinous manipulation of the duelists as well as Mikage's chance to not take larger responsibility. Mikage can not graduate because he never matured in his understanding of relationships and connections.

Saionji and Touga are arguably emtangled. Touga might see through the system off Princehood as dynamic of exploited and exploitation, one taking the power of another. Until Touga realizes how he lost in the role of the Prince, Touga only knows to keep people close by subjecting them beneath him. Or himself being subjected. So Saionji and Touga are in a constant struggle for power over the other as their only mean to maintain proximity. Meaning their role distribution of "subjected" (Princess) and "commander" (Prince) is constantly in fluc, if not applying to them equally at the same time.

In "Penguindrum", Yuri earnestly loved Momoka, partly because Momoka saved Yuri from her, pontentially, homophobic abusive home life. However, as an adult Yuri's trauma and loss of Momoka stunts her so much, she's unable to maintain a relationship. These unresolved issues lead to her assaulting Ringo as Yuri tries to get hold of anything, the thinnest straw, connecting her to Momoka. Queerness for Yuri, even when she's with another woman, isn't liberating. To her it is a source of her pain to be blackmailed and abused as "the other". Until Yuri realizes her hurt Ringo and Tabuki, everything she is, is traumatic to her, so she reacts to that trauma. (And then there other things playing into it but I wanted to talk specifically about Yuri's queerness.)

Then in "Sarazanmai" Enta's attraction to Kazuki drives him to sabotage the time with Toi and Kazuki. It's part of the overarching theme in the show how people are reduced to mere functionalities as object of desire. Hence people attempt to replace the lacking connection to beloved people with consumable goods. Enta's shame is about admitting that he's in love with Kazuki. But the bigger problem isn't the queerness but how Enta also fell into the trap to let Kazuki become object for his personal desire first. (It's not clearcut because Enta genuinely loves Kazuki yet by times his selfish desires take over. And honestly, that definitely can happen in any relationship. Enta is also 14 years old, he does mature over the course of the story. Speaking to these less savoury aspects of human feelings is what fleshes out Ikuara titles: It's not shy to be frank about human mistakes being necessary for growth.)

At last, Shoma and Ringo are so far the only hererosexual couple I know from Ikuhara's works. (Other honourable mention: In spite of Kazuki's feeling of disconnection in "Sarazanmai", the Yasaka family appears sincerly loving and otherwise intact - which is extremely rare in the Ikuhara canon.)

They meet on strained terms on Shoma needing Ringo to hand him Momoka's diary. Ringo exploits his needs selfishly and recklessly. In that dynamic of high friction, they peel off each other's worst sides but as well deepest vulnerabilities. Ringo tries desperately to step out of Momoka's shadow, trying to demand to be loved in any way possible. Shoma passively accepts suffering to the point of high self endagerment. He also sees it as retribution/fair punishment for his parent's terrorist attack. They know the other probably better than anyone else might know them. What binds them after Shoma's confession isn't Shoma's guilt or need of something from hers, or him coming in handy for Ringo's needs anymore but genuine concern. Shoma knows how lonely (and in consequence selfdestructive) Ringo is that she would endure Yuri's potential assault.

With Shoma Ringo is forced to confront her feelings as he ever so often protested, and tried to reason. Shoma was Ringo's way out of her small, lonely, suffocating world. In a way, like Shoma brought connection to Himari, he brought connection to Ringo. Ringo now has Himari and Shoma in her life who become so important to her. But even more so: They become real to her. They aren't props in her journey to be loved. Just by being she is loved by them. So Ringo speaks Momoka's magic words because she means them. She didn't understand the diary first but the moment Ringo really was able to love others and be loved back (as friend by Himari, romantically by Shoma), Momoka's word could become powerful magic.

Although I'm not decidedly certain on the Shoma and Ringo part, in them I see all the other principles of Ikuhara's work apply. Work through false beliefs, not treating other people like objects for one's own pursuit are the key to genuine love. In that sense the exact sexuality doesn't matter as much as the effort to dismantle all the beliefs and hinderances that hinder one to love genuinely another whole person.

[menlove]

idk if you said this already but who were your fancasts for the beatles biopics (besides geo lol)?

honestly it was just geo bc all their faces are.... soooo difficult. I WILL say that jim sturgess in across the universe is like. peak paul to me but also he's almost 50 now so it definitely wouldn't work but like....

what we could've had if he'd played paul when he was younger </3

but now you've interested me in this lmaoooo so here's some other suggestions I think could have worked!

igby rigney could've made an interesting paul w the right hair/makeup/styling I think. he's 21 so definitely a little young but hey the actors are gonna be playing them both older and younger so yknow. always bound to be some discrepancy

and another actor on the younger side I could see if they'd done different casting for different ages would be harry collett for a teenage john... although honestly w how fast people age he's already looking older and by the time the movies are made these could both probably work Fine

ringo is a mystery his face is so unique that I truly think any casting is going to be So Painfully Wrong that you just have to accept it. like sure barry keoghan why not I guess.

this kid could also make an interesting paul I think- pete machale but I have 0 idea how old he is and he's also trans. which would be great I think more trans actors should be casted in cis roles but you know there would be a FIT about it

but sbhsshssb truthfully their faces are just so so hard to cast... especially bc media today does Not favor anyone who looks anything other than conventionally attractive so it's. interesting trying to find actors that aren't hollywood pretty when that's not the goal

[destinyc1020]

i love tom just as much as the next stan but throwing out his name for paul mccartney is soo wild to me given paul is 5'11 💀 no shade to tom whatsoever but it would be a truly outrageous casting choice for that reason alone, disregarding the fact that they don't look anything alike either! tom doing the fa film makes sense given his dancing background, and there is some similarity looks-wise but doing paul mccartney who is a singer??? he could totally do it but i don't think it would be the right fit....i would love if they cast people who could actually sing to play the beatles otherwise what's the point? like why do a fa biopic and cast someone who couldn't dance? that's why tom is perfect for it. i will say though that i do love that tom is that guy that people throw out though.....box office acting chops king!!!

I agree Anon....

While I love Tom, and I LOVE that people are throwing his name out there (that's a good sign imo 😊), I don't think him doing a Beatles biopic playing THEE Paul McCartney would be the best thing tbh. Honestly? I think they should go w/someone relatively unknown who can sing. Like you said, Tom's height would be all off (look how RIDICULOUS JE looked playing Elvis at 6'5 ROTFL 🤣), and while I think Tom can probably carry a tune, he's NOT a singer. Totally agree w/you on them choosing a singer (or, at least someone who has a SINGING/musical background) for this role.

With regards to looks, I mean...I don't worry about that too much anymore. They used prosthetics on Christian Bale to play Dick Cheney, and Austin doesn't really look like Elvis, but they used prosthetics on his face to make it work as well. I'm not so much worried about the LOOK as I am more so the skillset needed for a Beatles role.

I'm not understanding the Barry Keoghan name being thrown out there either for Ringo tbh lol. 🤣 At least Ringo was SHORT, so Barry fits that description I guess lol. But can Barry sing?? Like, does he carry a tune lol? Barry isn't even English! He's Irish! 🤣 Idk how Brits would feel about that lol, but I guess anyone can fake an accent lol.

Like you said, I agree, Tom would be way better-suited for the FA biopic. At least Tom knows how to dance, and has been tap dancing for YEARS. You want an actor who already has somewhat of a background in dance if you're having them play one of the greatest dancing actors on the big screen. JMHO. I wouldn't think it would be right to settle for anything LESS.

So yea, I know we'll probably be pelted for saying this out loud, but I agree. While I respect a Director's decision, it would just be somewhat odd casting to me ,that's all lol. But hey...

It wasn't a casting announcement lol... So we're good. I'm just glad his name is being thrown around out there. He's in high demand! 😊

[spammreviews]

Quick Thoughts On Blue Eyed Samurai

Blue Eyed Samurai feels both extremely familiar and extremely distinct.

All of the characters are archetypes we’ve seen before:

Stoic loner on a quest for revenge

Princess who doesn’t want to be married off

Chivalrous knight

Large guy who is nice but also dumb

However, it is the way these characters are used which makes it special. Our main character, Mizu, is more than just your usual Bryonic character. Obviously, there’s the racial identity and the ambiguous gender and sexuality, but what we learn about their backstory makes them unique. We get an entire episode focusing on how Mizu played the role of a traditional woman for a time, and she didn’t hate it. Mizu is not only mistrustful because of the abuse she suffered as a child, it was because her husband betrayed her, and that was after she embarked on her quest for revenge! I can’t think of another story which does that.

I was also surprised that the blacksmith who raised Mizu is still alive in the present. It shows that there are other choices for Mizu to take in life, and she’s aware of this, but she’s still willing to throw it all away. Her quest for revenge is one of the most illogical quests for revenge ever, and that’s what makes it so interesting.

Taigen is also a really fascinating character because of his dynamic with Mizu. Him wanting to protect her so he can later kill her is pretty hilarious. We really understand that Taigen is constantly trying to prove himself as this honorable samurai, even in situations where it doesn’t matter at all. Both him and Mizu are on really stupid quests. The two are actually quiet similar in a lot of ways, and that makes their dynamic all the more fun.

Ringo is a weird character. At first, I found his childish attitude rather annoying, and he seemed rather one note. However, I quickly changed my mind. Ringo actively making the decision to leave Mizu was not something completely unexpected, but it was done in a perfect way. Not only that, but he never really makes things better between him and Mizu, they just realize they need to work together. This makes Ringo really interesting.

Akemi is also an interesting character just because of how complex her arc in this season is. She doesn’t to be this princess, but then she finally escapes and goes on an adventure, and she hates it. Then, she learns to actively get power by following the rules of her society. This is really interesting in comparison to Mizu, who does the exact opposite. Akemi learns that what she really wants is independence, not to become someone else. Her story has a lot of interesting things to say about growing up and having to care of yourself and how stressful it is, and it wraps that together with these musings on how women can have strength in a patriarchy.

This story also has a variety of fantastic side characters. I love the main villain, Fowler, as he’s not just evil, he just annoys everyone around him. He’s also a good example of a character who has a tragic backstory, but that doesn’t make us feel bad for him, it just makes us understand him. This guy is beyond sympathy, but seeing him as a human being makes him all the more terrifying.

I also like Fowler’s reluctant henchman because of how frustrated he is with the story he’s in. It’s very funny.

The head prostitute lady was interesting in the way she represented another way for women to get power Mizu and Akemi’s methods, where she weaponizes her womanhood, but in a way that society frowns on.

While the characters are fun, the story does a fantastic job of having them all cross paths at different points, which is extraordinarily satisfying to see.

The story also has some delightful world building. We get a very clear sense of this world, which feels both real and exciting, and we also see how the culture affects every specific character.

Moving on from the writing, the animation can look a little odd at points just in the way the characters look. It’s stuck in an awkward place between realism and stylization, and it’s mixing 3-d and 2-d and it looks a bit awkward. However, I wouldn’t say the animation is bad. It is very fluid, which helps for the fight scenes, which are all absolutely perfect. 

I suppose another complaint I have is that Mizu is a bit to good at being a fighter, to the point where it removes some tension from the story. However, I don’t care to much.

Overall, the show was a very fun time.

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Mars enters Leo

Saturday, May 20 - Monday, July 10, 2023

Sometimes I feel like astrologers may owe Dolt 45 some gratitude for being such a perfect example of the worst of his various natal placements. His natal Mars is in Leo, and conjunct his Ascendant from the 12th House. There’s all the screaming narcissistic in-your-face faux machismo! “Notice me or else!”

Remember, that’s a misused Mars/Leo - the cautionary tale, if you will. In The Book of Fire, Steven Forrest refers to awry transits through Leo with, “When Ego and Insecurity Steal the Show.” That’s what we have to be careful about over the next several months - Mars is in Leo now; Venus joins him on June 5 and remains in the sign until October 8.

Looking at Mars’ various areas:

Physical strength - actor Arnold Schwarzenegger has a Leo Sun. We can get excessively competitive, vain, or performative about our physiques - it’s more for show, rather than any boring practical necessity. If we’re strong, we like to show off.

Energy levels - this position often doesn’t know when to quit, or at least rest for a bit. We tend to just go whole hog, whole-heartedly, all the time. It’s really important to (learn how to) pace ourselves - before we hurt ourselves.

Sexuality - romantic! Really into the drama and romance of it all. Can go overboard with wooing the object of our affections. We’re passionate, loving, and fun in bed. This is another area where “not knowing when to quit” can get us into trouble. Other people are not required to requite our affections.

How we go after what we want - Mars wants to go in a straight line towards its goals. The shortest distance between two points is a line, and Mars wants to do like that! In Leo, though, we may complicate our plans just for the fun/drama of it. We’re quite gallant and chivalrous - real Knight of Wands energy, emphasis on the knight part of it.

There are some real trouble spots ahead, as well some assistance:

Saturday, May 20 - Mars/Leo opposite Pluto Rx/Aquarius, 0°16’

Monday, May 22 - Mars/Leo sextile Sun/Gemini, 0°54’

Tuesday, May 23 - Mars/Leo square Jupiter/Taurus, 1°28’

Wednesday, May 24 - Mars/Leo square North Node/Taurus and South Node/Scorpio, 2°34’

Thursday, June 1 - Mars/Leo inconjunct Saturn/Pisces, 7°00’

Sunday, June 11 - Mars/Leo 12° sesquiquad Neptune/Pisces 27°, semi-square Ceres/Virgo 27°

Wednesday, June 21 - Mars/Leo sextile Mercury/Gemini, 18°39’

Thursday, June 22 - Mars/Leo trine Chiron/Aries, 19°34’

Monday, June 26 - Mars/Leo square Uranus/Taurus, 21°29’

Sunday, July 2 - Mars/Leo trine Eris/Aries, 25°13’

Thursday, July 6 - Mars/Leo inconjunct Neptune Rx/Pisces, 27°40’

Sunday, July 9 - Mars/Leo inconjunct Pluto Rx/Capricorn, 29°25’

Mars/Leo begins with one difficult alignment (a fixed t-square with Jupiter/Taurus and Pluto Rx/Aquarius) - and finishes with another (a yod involving inconjuncts to Neptune Rx/Pisces and Pluto Rx/Capricorn). Larger things happening in the wider world play a role in how this Mars transit goes - Steven wrote, “You have a right to take up some space. You have a right to have your needs met.” So does everyone else, though - don’t be a Dolt 45 type! Better examples to follow include Eckhart Tolle, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, Jon Stewart, Mark Hamill, and about 8,000 musicians (Beyonce, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr…).

[jaysgg]

Yesterday (2019) Movie Review NO SPOILERS: Himesh Patel, The Beatles Music, Lily James, Ed Sheeran, Kate McKinnon, Joel Fry

I am not a big music fan. But I understand the artistry of Beatles Songs. I also grew up with it. My Dad was a big fan. In Yesterday, a global blackout happened. When the lights came back, it seemed only one person could remember The Beatles ever existed. It was an unsuccessful singer and songwriter named Jack Malik (Himesh Patel). He then started performing Beatles songs. People were impressed. Because of the beauty and virality of “his songs”, Jack got a music manager and eventually caught the attention of Ed Sheeran who plays himself. Jack got bigger every day as opportunities came in from song recordings, albums, and gigs in front of thousands. But can he live with the lie that he alone created these amazing songs? Also, how will this newfound fame affect his longtime platonic relationship with Ellie (Lily James), a school teacher who is also his amateur manager?

Did I like this movie? Yes, but not too much. My dad loved it and he is a Beatles fan. I also liked the message of the film. But let’s go deeper. They created a world where The Beatles did not exist. There SHOULD BE a lot of ramifications for that. It would be a wild butterfly effect. Many things in the world would be affected. Ed Sheeran who plays himself is a very successful musician. He was influenced by a lot of artists from The Beatles, to Bob Dylan, to Jay Z. Would his music be as good as it is if The Beatles did not exist? BTW, and this is not a major spoiler, there are things in this world that do not exist just like The Beatles. However, the movie is not interested in exploring that world, the ramifications of a world where John, Paul, George, and Ringo did not form a band. I would love a sequel with that. The movie is more interested in the love story of Jack and Ellie. Critics find the 2 main characters flat and boring. But for me, it feels real. Real people and real couples don’t act like Glenn Powell and Sydney Sweeney, Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, or Nicole Kidman and Harris Dickenson from Babygirl (2024).

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Also, whatever charisma Himesh Patel and Lily James have, it did not come out here. Here’s what I’ll say. I found out that Himesh Patel actually sang the Beatles songs for the movie. He has the perfect “Beatles Voice.” That’s why he got the role. The Beatles’ music is the most crucial factor in this film. The filmmakers invested $10 million in music rights, which paid off. The movie made $154.6 million from a budget of 26 million.

Another “cultural” or “artistic” question you might have is this. Would these songs work with any other singer? Is that how good the Beatles songs were? Or do you need the charisma of John, Paul, George, and Ringo? The movie posits that the songs are so powerful that even a failed singer who doesn’t care about his fashion sense can become a global star.

Do you know who I loved in this film? Joel Fry and Kate McKinnon. They made the movie funny. I’m not that familiar with Joel Fry’s work. He played Rocky, the stoner-ish best friend and roadie of Jack. Rocky is the comic-relief best friend of the main character. I find him charismatic and funny without delivering lines like a comedian. If you delivered lines like a comedian, you must be as good as Kate McKinnon here who plays Debra, the manager of Jack and Ed Sheeran. I love Debra, she’s very literal. She doesn’t sugarcoat or gaslight. She would literally tell Jack that she only does this for money and doesn’t care about your personal life. Debra is deadpan, funny, and evil. It’s funny and refreshing these days since we live in a world where many people gaslight and BS you.

Yesterday was not a very engaging or entertaining movie. It’s not sharp or smart. There are many boring parts. Any tension would be resolved later, but not in a fun way. It’s a cute shallow concept but Beatles fans and music fans would love it. The movie became a financial success because the Boomer grandparents and parents wanted to watch it. That means all their Gen X, Millennial, Gen Z, and Gen Alpha kids and grandkids came along, whether they are Beatles fans or not.

Unsurprisingly, the best part of the movie are The Beatles Songs.

Jays Ratings — 60%

Rotten Tomatoes — 63%

IMDB — 6.8

Metacritic — 55

Roger Ebert — 2.5 Stars of 4

Check out The Beatles T-Shirts, watch Yesterday, or get The Beatles Albums TODAY!

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[beatlblog]

#George can fix his own dinner sorry it’s for couples only (via @didwemeetsomewherebefore)

#steak and spuds#but none for George huh?#I would love to have heard John's 'indignant' voice#real indignant or mock indignant? (via @crepesuzette2023)

#a regular LITTLE HOUSEWIFE!!!#also his and johns dinner#LMAO literally only cooking for John like#George is right fucking there#but I’ve always loved to think of them in Paul’s house and Paul’s out here with his little apron making John his tea#so honestly this only confirms that image#I’m dying it’s so funny#Johns like don’t point it out to him then he’s gonna stop being my little wifey#I wish he’d answer tho#WAS IT COMMON JOHN 🎤 (via @sleeper9)

#has probably cooked for john since they were teenagers and now people are calling them weird for it#anyway I love the domesticity of it#everyone needs a work wife (via @javelinbk)

#cooking a steak for his husband after a long day of being rock stars#a single mom who works two jobs etc (via @backbenttulips)

#let him cook (literally) (via @elena-ferrante)

#paul being a little campy fork found in kitchen (via @hamyilton)

#ay el amor#perhaps affectionately (via @alwaysreturntome)

#they're in a penthouse where obviously the thing to do would be room service#especially in 1964 where that sort of thing was still new and exciting#Also the fact that George is sitting right there and Paul's not making him dinner I'm dead#Where was Ringo I wonder#But really it makes me think of how Paul talks about being good at scrambled eggs and mashed potatoes and not much else#He likes to be Linda's sue chef and chop things up and hang out with her while she's cooking but she's the one who loves it#And yet here he is cooking for John in a penthouse#Why is it so important for him to maintain gender roles in at least the media perception of his marriage?#Because of comments like this?#Or maybe Linda really was just so many worlds better at cooking and loved it so much like they always assert (via @m1ssunderstanding)

not especially new in 64 but maybe for them newly famous with money

#does george just not eat (via @supersonic1994)

no he alwys does and that's why it's funny

#they let george STARVE 💔 (via @gardenwalrus)

#also John “I love to play it faggy” lennon finding THAT funny is honestly hilarious lol (via @cocaineskinny909)

#its ok if he does john don’t be embarrassed (via @beatlesmenrock)

#I’m going to imagine that Paul turned round and gave George $5#and said ‘go ask the hotel kitchen to make you a sandwich’#‘and don’t come back for a while’#‘mommy’s going to give daddy a special adult kiss on his trousers’ (via @didwemeetsomewherebefore)

#''it sounds funny'' yes it does john. yes it does (via @moptopper)

#also obligatory#what's libel about calling paul camp? (via @saturn-iidae)

#secure men could chuckle at their boy best friend bring called their little housewife (via @paulscunt)

#and yet the regular little housewife apparently forgot to cook something for their kids aka george and ringo lmao (via @innitmarvellous)

#pauls a mummy#johns mummy (via @beatlesyurii)

#this book is out next week and I’m really interested to know what the source for this is considering Malcolm Searle died in 2008#by which I mean…I wonder if audio exists (via @delightfullyatomicfest)

#*heavy italian accent* what? no steak for george? (via @maccaritamondays)

#1) paul only cooking for john and leaving george and ringo to starve in a cardboard box on the side of the road#2) where did he get a little apron when they were on tour#3) he really just wanted to be someone's wife so fucking bad (via @ozymandiasdirge)

#how much do you wanna bet this was a money saving thing#like george is there eating some nice takeout and paul's stirring potatoes saying ''you're wasting all your money. right john???'' (via @moptopper)

When We Was Fab: Inside the Beatles Australasian Tour 1964 by Andy Neill and Greg Armstrong

I’ve stolen this off a Facebook group but feel it needs to be seen on tumblr.

[vitaminwaterreviews]

f(x) - Pink Tape

Speechless. Fuck the average of the songs, this now my favorite kpop album ever. 10.0. This has changed my view of music as a whole, and my life will never be the same.

(The song average is 8.3 if you’re curious).

Alright, so I feel like I do need to preemptively explain myself here. I don’t know very much f(x) at all. I’ve heard a couple of titles, I’ve checked out a few songs from Red Light, and … that’s literally it. So even though I do know a bit about this group and its history, I’m still quite fresh regarding their sound and what to expect. With that in mind:

Rum Pum Pum

Love the instrumentation in the opening

Set design feels very SNSD

Fun choreo

This bass/guitar line is so groovy

Pretty harmonies in what I assume is the pre chorus

Not impressed at all by the MV, but the choreo is fun, and it seems to be primarily focusing that

Love the verses, not convinced by the chorus yet

Fun rap section

Good use of silence

Okay, yeah, I think I buy that

8/10, my favorite of the f(x) titles I’ve heard so far. Groovy and fun

Shadow

Haha this feels so Red Velvet

Creepy chimes and synths

Groovy verse, low breathy voices, those chimes are still sticking around

Electric piano and bass beat

Okay this vibes. If I’m supposed to be picturing a shadow, it’s a playful shadow, like Peter Pan

Y’know what this reminds me of? Milk! It’s weird and quirky but super groovy

8/10

Pretty Girl

Hip hop?

The intro certainly is. That bass

But the guitar and verse feels way more … poppy?

Not sure what to make of the pre-chorus, everything got Loud all of a sudden

Same with the chorus. Wasn’t particularly catchy

Lol that rap

The ahhhs in the bridge are fun

Yeahhh I’m still not convinced by the chorus, but still a very fun song

7/10

Kick

And now we’re synthy

I like that all of these songs so far have had proper intros

An instrumental intro nonetheless!

I’m so confused what emotion this song is supposed to be conveying

Mix of vocal timbres and instrumental timbres feel disjointed

Oh okay, it’s like a hype song

I genuinely don’t know what to make of this song, same for the last one. But I sure enjoy listening to it more than the 1st gens

Lol wait why does this remind me of Itzy’s Ringo

This is Not something Red Velvet would do, but it’s kind of SNSD on LSD

Speaking of which what the hell is this bridge

7/10 but I would not be surprised if this song has a cult following, perhaps one day I’ll join them lmao

Signal

Disco, pretty strings and that Bass

Again, what’s the vibe of this supposed to be?

Dance Pop I guess

The ooohs are fun

This song is definitely more cohesive than the previous ones, like it clearly knows what it is. Not sure if it’s my style though

7/10

Step

Not too instrumental, very drum and vocal heavy, bit of saxophone, and I have no idea what that background instrument is, very muted

Okay, here’s the chorus, this is a jam

Kind of wish the saxophone was stronger

Pretty harmonies in the second verse, I like that a lot

8/10, probably the least “interesting” song so far but it was a vibe

Goodbye Summer

Wait, so they just didn’t put Victoria or Sulli on this song? That’s interesting, wonder why

And why feature D.O.? Maybe he fills their vocal roles?

Nice acoustic intro, electric piano

Verrrry pretty male vocals

Eyy eyy yeah

Maybe I do like slow jams when they’re acoustic guitar slow jams haha

This is the most “normal” song on the album so far. Like they’re playing this SUPER safe

Probably not to make D.O. look bad haha

I just listened to The Grace yesterday, and I must say, I prefer the vocal tone of whoever they had belting vs whoever’s doing the high notes here

Lalalala

8/10, I genuinely am a sucker for this type of music

Airplane

Alright, we gonna get weird again, or we gonna stay poppy?

This intro could go either way

So far we are quite poppy, but still different from what we’ve had so far. This is more like house/EDM timbres

Yeah holy shit you could have this song on Geometry Dash haha

Here it comessssss

Yeah, this is Good

“Come with me / Airplane / Love” lol I wonder who they paid to write those lyrics

Maybe I should check out the lyrics

Oh my god and pretty vocals over the beat

9/10, this is my type of music and they honestly did it really well

Toy

Here go, back to weird

Honestly I just love how aggressive this song is. I feel like modern kpop doesn’t do aggression as well, peak 2.5th gen

I haven’t commented on the timbres: we’ve got cute little bells in the background and everything else is just LOUD

“I’m transforming now” wtf

I’m reminded of Dance Dance Revolution which tbf informed a lot of my early music taste

THE BREAKDOWN HOLY SHIT

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THIS SONG NEEDED

I’m laughing so hard

Holy shit there are actually tears in my eyes

10/10. This song is the perfect version of itself holy shit. I’m going to relisten to this right now oh my god

I’m literally still laughing

Yeah, this is such a good song

This is literally perfect. This ENTIRE project was worth it just so I could come across this song

I don’t want to finish this album, I want to keep listening to this song

Do I have tooooooo

Okay fine

No More

I just want it known that I’m here begrudgingly and so that will probably affect this song’s score

Ooooh wop

Doo-wop? We haven’t had that yet

The bass here is groovy as hell, the vocals are super fun

I guess the only logical way to follow THAT song is a fun doo-wop song, that makes sense

I wonder what Wikipedia thinks this album’s genre is?

“Synth-pop, electro-pop, electronica” yeah fair enough but that’s more a failure of our definitions of genres

This bridge is pretty

Are those strings there in the bridge? Neat

Giggles and talking in the outro is fun

9/10, maybe I’m still high from Toy but oh my god

Snapshot

And we follow with Drama

In the style of musical theatre, it’s got the bass and the piano and the-

Oh never mind

We’re back to electro-pop

This mix of instrumentation is so good

Talk about an album ending strong. Those 7’s in the beginning worried me. But nope, this album is everything they said it would be

This chorus is fun, I’m dancing in my chair

All it’s missing is a true instrumental break

The outro is kind of that but I could’ve used more

9/10

Ending Page

Back to rock

This definitely feels like an ending song, acoustic guitar has that feel

The piano samples too

The “ayo ayo” part is really really fun

The verses feel So good to listen to, pure ear candy

Yeah, this chorus at 2:10, I’m really feeling this

I want a good strong ending, give me something here

Yes.

The vocalizations are exactly it.

9/10